There is a lot of water everywhere right now. The low-lying fields, the ditches and really any area that is saturated from so much rain. Rivers and waterfalls are full to overflowing and the water is moving fast. On my usual drives to the offices there are lots of places where the water is moving in the ditches and frantically pouring to lower ground. I have met many people in my life that chase water falls, I thought it was just a song lyric, but plenty of people actually love the experience of being near falling water and seek out new and different places where water cascades. In my drive and in lots of other country lanes there are hundreds of little waterfalls right now as all this water moves. Made me think about how we are all chasing things like waterfalls, the next big thing that we know will lift our spirits. And here in this chaos of floods and wash outs, there are little water falls everywhere to be enjoyed. Like lots of things, this could be a case of too much of a good thing as many people stack sandbags and bail water. For some of us, it is a bit of a metaphor, no more chasing waterfalls, they are chasing us. Little pockets of joy and beauty in hundreds of places. That is my wish for today, little glimpses of small waterfalls, small pleasures, small beauties and then cumulatively, great joy. In times of stress and unknown there are troubles pooling, however, I think there is always some good to be chased, some little things to be noticed and some great wonders to behold in ordinary places.

I was driving home the other day and took a side road in order to drop something to a neighbour. That road took me past the wind turbines close to my home, but the trees blocked most of the view, so from the road I was on, only part of the wind turbine was visible. From my view it was just one blade swinging out from behind the tree line in a rhythmic motion, like a sword repeatedly coming down on an invisible target. I reflected that if you were only ever to see this view you would have no idea that the blade in view was attached to a complete turbine. I think it is like that with a lot of things, there are plenty of things blocking our view or not known to us and the vantage point we all have is limited. I read a book in the winter that said the beginning of all relationships is a conversation where, as much dialogue as possible is set out to ensure a deep understanding of the viewpoint of each participant. It was described like a pond between two people that had to be filled with their respective thoughts first, then the art of decision making or problem solving could be like water being drawn from that well. That the knowledge, line of sight, view and unique perspectives need to be fully explored. I know from other roads that the swinging sword is part of a wind turbine, I know that the wind turbine is part of a row of turbines that the community fought hard not to have installed. It is important to share what we know, ask questions of what others see and try to get the full view, that is where the power is created.

I think I have quoted Meg Soper before in her compelling question of- what makes you throw back the blankets in the morning?  It’s her way of checking on what energizes you, excites, motivates and gets you moving. Both my adult kids have a deep love of winter sports, my daughter is a skating coach, and my son is part of a curling league. Both these passions came to their seasonal end last weekend and to add an extra punctuation to the transition the ice was removed in both venues at the end of the weekend. My daughter had to go back to the arena and see the pile of ice and snow that once was the rink melting in the sunshine and she felt the kind of grief we all feel when something is changing or ending. Change is, as they say, a constant, we are always being challenged to walk forward in changes big and small. I once texted a friend that I was sad to see the last campfire of the trip end and they reminded me that while this trip ends, there will be many more campfires. The challenge for all of us is not only to walk through the change, but also to dance, move, and perhaps plunge into the next adventure, what we now face and who we have become at the end of each change or changing event. If change is the only constant, resistance only means that the next big thing might be harder to see and find, dance right in.

I went to a large community meeting this week and as sometimes happens, I entered the crowded room of people and did not see a single person that I knew.  I was standing still, scanning the room for some seconds when someone came up behind me.  This person that I had not yet really seen said: ” stick with me and we will find coffee.”.  It was such a poignant gesture, it turns out that it was a colleague I knew.  What I loved though was that he did not stop and say hello or try to make small talk and then move on to coffee or the rest of the room alone.  Whether he realized my scanning or not, he just saw me there and invited me into his space, instantly making me feeling centred and ready to launch into the crowded room and begin making connections.  We all have this power, not only to scan the crowded room for people we know, but also to make the room being scanned more welcoming.  Makes me reflect on the kind of inclusion we strive for, more than just a handshake or a wave.  Inclusion means that someone noticed a person on the side and draws them in.  That all people are moving around, belonging, contributing, able to connect as equals.  In the room on this day, I was inside the room, I was an invited guest and I knew that my role in this room was to listen and vote.  One could argue that I was included, however, my colleague took it to the next level.  I was present, but now connected, welcomed and drawn in to the room.  And from that drawing in I could launch into connecting with others, making introductions and seeking to understand and include others.  When in a crowded room,  be a connector, be a welcomer and if we all take that step in to move beyond the greeting and invite participation, very soon we will all feel seen, included and like we are where we belong.

As I left my home one morning this week a stranger stopped on the road and asked me to roll down my window, she wanted to warn me that the highway that I was heading to was glare ice. This was so thoughtful, she had just turned off the highway so was probably so relieved to be done the terrible trek, but took the time to stop and warn me, someone that she did not know, who was clearly heading to the road she had just turned off from. I love being reminded of this kind of kindness, the spontaneous gestures that have no planning, benefit or reward. The road was indeed very icy, and I still went on my way to work, despite the warning.  This left me thinking about both aspects of my story, a person tried to warn me about a hazard, probably hoping that I would avoid the road. However, I needed to get to work, and I had tires I trusted so I carried on. In a world where we have the opportunity to pass on advice or warnings to others, even strangers, we need to be at peace and feel good about taking the time and passing on the information. What the person does with that information or the possible outcome is not something we control or design, we need to be at peace with that too. We only know how we assess a situation through our lens, others see things differently all the time and might, take the road less salted and easy because it is right for them.

I went to a meeting and in part of the informal conversation a person talked about how King Charles is now on some of our Canadian coins. I was quick to say that I had no idea that this had begun and had certainly not seen any. The person speaking said that she was just looking in her coin purse and discovered one. I was fascinated; how can it be that I have not seen one yet. When I went home, I told my husband about it and then I went to the ceramic potato where we keep loose change. It did not take me long to find a coin with King Charles on it. I had at least one and never noticed. While I don’t think I would go all the way to envy, I did have a reaction to being told that something existed and then sure that I had not had one. Just made me think of all the times that we perceive that others have something extra or less challenges or more opportunities. We might feel jealous or cheated about something we perceive as shiny and different in someone else’s change purse. I think, if we look again or differently at what we have, much of the time we can find the very thing that we think is lacking in our own space. It is said that we focus on the attributes in others that we most want to work on in ourselves. If you see something that delights or that you wish you had, you probably already do, you simply must look inside your own potato or hiding place.

My brother Steve is well known for his temper, not in a volatile way, but in a short on patience with the whole world kind of way.  He was telling me about his awful night where his outdoor woodstove kept going out.  His exact words were: “I would have lit the whole thing on fire out of frustration except that was the very thing that was wrong.”  It reminded me of a story of my childhood when my dad lost his cool and inflicted hundreds of dollars of damage on a tractor when he could not repair something simple.  I think we all have these “burn it down” moments of frustration. When we suddenly get so bogged down in our problem that our reactions become out of step with the solution and in step with the emotions of the heightened frustration.  For Steve’s woodstove he established that he had tried to take a short cut on misshapen wood chunks, but as they burned, large gaps were created, stopping the wood from combusting.  Emotions, as they say are not all good or all bad.  There are lots of times where a good flash of anger uses up some energy that can then offer a calm to look at the issue a different way.  The challenge is to do what we need to for the problem solving, the burning it down, often sets us back further away from the solution or resolution, burning up our critical thinking. Causing a gap, and prolonging the dark night.

I had the chance a few weeks ago to hear a minister speak about a metaphor for our busy lives. He talked about a glass, that appeared empty but was in fact filled to the brim with air. So the analogy then was that the air represented all the things that we can’t see that clog up our weeks and days. Our worries, our doubts, our resentments, memories, trauma, hurts and happy emotions and thoughts also. That full to the brim idea that the glass represented, then turned to how we might empty the glass of air, how would we suck out the air, how could we force out the air, create a vacuum. He was quick to point out that all the strategies that remove the air would inevitably harm the glass through the depressurization. The glass was full of air, full of our anxious thoughts and constant emotions and it would appear his analogy was offering nothing to lessen the load. Then he offered that the simplest way to empty the glass of air, was to fill it with water. How simple the air no longer has the space it needs because this is replaced by the water. Then Reverend Jonathan Baird concluded, sometimes we get so focused on what we want to remove we start to destroy our moments and the days with the pressure of how to create a more balanced peaceful life. Just like the water in the glass analogy, a better tactic could be to focus on what we want our glass to be full of and pouring it in. Is it mindfulness, is it an important person, is it faith, is it peace. What can we add, top up and layer on that begins to push the anxious space holders up and out of the limited space of our minds and days and weeks. What do we want to hold the space for, what is it that will calm and nourish and how can we pour so much of that in, that there is almost no space for the rest? Grab a pitcher of peace and keep pouring.

I was having a conversation with a neighbour this week and he offered that I was a kin keeper. He explained that it was an Irish term that was about a person that kept their family connected and kept their family traditions alive. I loved the idea of giving what I feel like I do a name. When I looked it up, lots of references likened the kin keeper to the family glue, the tradition keeper, the person that writes letters, sends messages, and tells family stories. It reminded me of a joke I saw on the internet that read – I may not be the family glue, but I am the only one who knows where the glue is. Take a minute to think about who this is in your family. Who is the one that tells the old stories of grandparents or childhood, who sends the cards and keeps people connected. Who makes the traditional recipes and encourages the get togethers? And if you don’t have much family, who in your circle of friends is the glue? Once you have the person in mind, take a moment to appreciate all they do and turn it around to make sure that you are telling them a story of how much impact they have and how much they are appreciated. I think everyone has some role in keeping their kin, in a big and small ways we are all connected, we are all taking care, taking responsibility and celebrating each other’s wins and what we enjoy about one another. Sometimes we do not know how to help another person through a challenge, but we all know how to make a sandwich and make some time, keep your kin close and connected.

There are a lot of competing pressures for our time and attention.  And as I have said many times before we can easily get caught up in the glory of busy.  We ask each other how things are going and the quick answer many times is- so busy.  In fact, last week I mentioned to a friend that I was noticing the beauty of the morning frostiness on the trees reflecting in the sun and the response was – you have too much time on your hands.  So now we not only make busy glorious, but a hint of unbusy is now sometimes mocked.  What we know for sure though is that we were not wired to live this way, to hear of extreme tragedies in BC, to cheer on dozens of athletes on an app while working, to tackle hundreds of tasks while that app is on with work and then make our evening matter with more tasks and preparations, while listening to yet more information on a pod cast or TV.  We, they say, are actually wired to rest when the sun goes down, unwind by the fire, leave time in the day to just think, and be with people laughing and telling stories, creating our sense of the world and self in relation to others.  While I know that there is no going back to fires in the hearth and quiet uncomplicated evenings of rest.  Perhaps there are small things that we can start to change to make space.  What might happen if we tried for one or two weeks not to discuss how busy we are, but instead looked for something else, some kind of story that made a connection.  We need to slow the busy and ramp up the living and being, together.