It’s summer holidays and my two nephews are old enough to stay home on their own. Each has a cell phone for times when parental advice is needed.
Last week on the first day of summer break both called their mom to convey that they hated each other. I may be talking to a small crowd here, but the boys decided to start training their calves for showing and this is hot, miserable, infuriating work; calves, in my opinion, were meant to be unencumbered by a lead and run free. I don’t know the details but tempers ran high, and each of my nephews made venting calls to my sister-in-law about their complete frustration with each other.
The younger ended his call with a request – could he have an ice cream sandwich? My genius sister-in-law answered that he could on one condition – he needed to take out two, give one to his brother and sit together with him to eat them.
A few moments later the barn cam proved in fact that the instructions were followed, and the two teenage boys were having an ice cream sandwich and talking. I am sure that the boys were absolutely angry with one another for a difference of opinion or practice. Then add the heat, the pressure of knowing that the calves needed to be trained and top it off with the completely uncooperative 200 pounds of Angus – the perfect recipe for a summer melt down.
We have all faced this, the team approach that doesn’t feel like a team at all; the pressure of the project that has no idea that it is supposed to go where you want it to go and then the added environmental factors. Doors slam, tempers rise and inevitably the parties retreat to separate corners to keep on being mad at all that is wrong.
How to break through the swirling one direction funnel cloud of anger and resentment? In this case food, but the solution could be anything to change the direction, find common ground again or even get in the same room. If we are on a team we have common ground, we just need to get back to some semblance of calm to remember it, to find it, to be with one another and work it through.
Next time I am tempted to retreat to my own space to be right while uncomplicated by any opposing facts, I will remember that an ice cream sandwich-like moment of sharing and a chat could be what’s needed. Now this was day one; this could be a very long summer for my nephews. Best to stock up on ice cream sandwiches just in case, methinks.
Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com
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