I spent my Saturday with a friend, we do this every year for her birthday, a whole Saturday together to celebrate and we do almost the same things each time. In fact, Saturday morning my pal texted and said- I will meet you at the usual spot with Chai lattes as tradition would dictate. We do chat from time to time through the year, we sometimes also have lunch at Christmas time, but overall, this February Saturday is the main event of our friendship and we have done it for 18 years. We get caught up, we exchange gifts (even though my birthday is in July), and we go to the same shops and restaurants. It makes me reflect that while we all know that connection is just as important as exercise to health and the loneliness is more dangerous than smoking. All the remedies are hard to define, we all have different needs for social connection, and there is no one size all for relationships. What is meaningful and completely recharging to one person might be too much or not enough to another. Makes work in supporting people to create connections trickier. I went to a meeting this week that talked about the kindness of being clear and establishing boundaries. We need connection and we need a balance where we can do what we need for recharging. We all need other people, but we differ in how much or how long. The relationship I have with Susan is there, if I needed her help she would be there and I would do the same, otherwise we are a one hit wonder each year and that works for both of us. Find what works, create connections and traditions.
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