Brene Brown says that the opposite of belonging is not being outcast or solitary, it is, fitting in. Making changes, becoming smaller, altering your personality, hiding gifts or maybe forcing yourself to display gifts that are not yours are all ways that inhibit belonging. I toured a progressive private school recently and there was a great story about how the children co-designed the play area. Without prompts the kids of all ages started to spontaneously talk about how to make spaces and equipment accessible for all. They had a strong sense that their play time in that yard would be richer if all could have a chance to play together. Inclusion and belonging are about feeling comfortable, able to enter, safe and valued not for what you are doing, buying, bringing in your casserole dish, but in who you are. We all have unique gifts, perspectives, ideas, talents and interests. Belonging means that you can bring that whole self, be fearless in the sharing and know that you are valued. It also means that while the entire group on the playground may not share your passion for Elvis’s music and Jane Austen books, you feel safe and heard and appreciated enough to share your delight in those things even when not shared. I feel like this explains why isolation and loneliness does not always equate to being alone. Lots of humans spend time with others in lots of different ways. What does belonging mean to you? Are there ways that all of us can make the spaces around us more inclusive, can we take an extra step toward making the people around us feel more safe and able to bring their whole selves? Can we make our playgrounds in all forms available for all to share in the adventure we call life.
UltimateInclusion.com 