My husband is a little bit famous for his sentiments when I am leaving for work.  His sayings include keep your stick on the ice, keep the shiny side up and his oft used, keep your powder dry.  All these refer to something colloquial that I don’t fully understand, but in essence he is always urging me to do my best and stay safe. And now as my kids leave each day for work, he gets to ramp up his game and pass on these gems to them.  So, a few days ago he told my daughter to “keep the wind at her back”.  I am sure my daughter did not offer any response in the moment as she trudged off, but in the evening, she was sharing this story.  It had been a windy day and with her stepdad’s words in her head, each time she found herself in the wind, she turned to put her back to it.  She was excited to report that this had made a huge difference in her day.  I love this, as I know my husband was not trying to be instructional, but he did offer great advice in his words.  It reminds me of two things.  First the way we often say these kinds of things, asking people to take care, to be safe, to be watchful, these are all different ways of saying that we care.  Different ways to show that just for a moment we are offering words of farewell that literally ask another human to aim to be well.  Secondly, it makes me think about all the little sayings we have that we fully understand, but that we can easily use with people that are from a different generation, a different culture or a different communication style and make no sense at all.  In this case, my daughter took it as literal instruction and she had a more pleasant day.  In other cases, it reminds us to be cautious about using references that do not convey what we are trying to say.  I basically understand that my husband knows that I do not in fact fire canons or muskets in my work and therefore do not require any reminder to keep the gun powder dry so that it will have optimal effect.   He is simply using this old saying to tell me to take care of myself and be cautious in my day, I think.  Let’s keep telling each other to be well and safe, in a way that we know everyone can understand.

In the middle of a rather tense community table meeting a colleague blurted out: “we must think of the geese”.  This ED quickly elaborated. She described that when a flock of Canada Geese descend into a field and search for left over corn or other nibblies, a few geese stand watch.  Then as the odd goose gets their fill they will take over as sentry and let the former guardian forage for snacks.  So, in the context of the meeting, my learned friend was trying to say that as agencies sometimes we are in the receiving side of grants and good things, and sometimes we must stand sentry for one another as partners.  So, while she sounded a bit off topic at first, in the end it was a reminder about what it is to be partners in community.  I have been thinking about this over the last few days, as we have weathered different challenges, in lots of ways.  Sometimes we get to be the snacking geese, able to just relax and look for what sustains us best, enjoy the uninterrupted time to seek out what we need.  Other times we may be the side kick, that guard that pays attention to what our loved ones or colleagues need most and working to make it happen for them, with little thought to why we are not able to equally enjoy the corn feast.  I love this idea too because it is absolutely true that none of us are able to reap rewards and delights all the time.  So, in the gaps and in between times, that is when we can take some time to check on others, close in around someone who needs it, offer some kind of help.  Community connection offers us both the chance to reap and the chance to sow, we can find what sustains us and we can also, with a little effort, guard and create space for others, remember the geese.

Since getting the role I have in 2011, I have moved offices several times. In all those moves a desk lamp has remained constant. In the recent move around to accommodate flooring the light stopped working. In some busy days I did not give it much thought, but one day this week when I wanted to do a lot of reading, I took a closer look. I wiggled cords and tightened the bulb, all the technical know how I have. In my attempts to repair the base broke. Disheartened I decided that the lamp that had been my constant companion would now need to be replaced, so I crawled under the desk to unplug it. In doing so I found that it had not been plugged in since the flooring was installed. I taped the base back together and committed my lamp back into service. I wonder how often I do this.  I look to make a change because I can’t see the light in the moment only to find that I in fact have not plugged in. I have perhaps, not fully committed, I have not given the time and attention needed, I have not reached out to those that can help and guide, I have not taken time to fully recharge. I wonder too, how many times I have looked to others to do the work of checking if I have brought my best. I have heard it said that humans are just complicated houseplants, we need water and sunlight. Maybe there is a chance that we all could see the light at the end of our many tunnels or that pushes us to show up with our best, more often if we make sure we are plugged in to our community, our best version, our unique gifts and those around us. Its worth checking under the desk a little more often.

When the ice storm began it was a gentle storm at my house, then as it wore on it was clear, this was going to be a great challenge.  Like lots of people, I lost power for a while and lost many of my favourite trees around the yard.  However, there were things to be found.  I saw great community solidarity on my neighbourhood Facebook groups, helping one another, picking up baby formula and diapers for strangers. People checking on others, lending out generators offering help to clear trees blocking driveways.  Communities opening warming stations and community members with woodstoves and generators offering their own homes as places to get warm and have a coffee.  And so much of what we were missing we normally take completely for granted.  The hot shower, the charged phone, the Wi-Fi, the lights, the water for rural folks.  All these things that we depend on but often fail to even notice as a blessing in our day to day lives. So how about this, lets notice, let’s just take a minute acknowledge the wonder of our conveniences after we missed them for a time.  Let’s think about how we can offer our gifts to our communities even when not in a state of emergency due to weather.  We often feel our challenges so deeply because, well, they are difficult and heart wrenching. And just when we get through one crisis another one is brewing.  But maybe, just a few moments in the morning or evening to think about what is great, what is working and all we have could break it up, alter the course, lighten the load and light up our days.

I used to spend time with someone who made me laugh, who I enjoyed being with and who fundamentally disagreed with almost everything I believed in.  Just a quick word of advice as much fun as we were having, this is not sustainable.  What I reflect on today though is a strange phenomena that probably has a psychological name.  We would often challenge each other to read articles and books that would expound our thoughts and beliefs to the other person.  So, they would dismiss my Brene Brown and Louise Hay and Martha Beck type reads and challenge me to read Nietzsche or Richard Bach.  I can’t say if it was a shared experience, but when I read the books, I was challenged to, I was reading through my lens, my core beliefs and my musing mind.  So inevitably, I was finding that in lots of ways these texts meant to change my mind I found to be echoing my thoughts.  Dance to music no one else hears, be true to yourself, fly high even when no one believes that a seagull should have such lofty goals. There were some edgy things that were not quite as inspirational as my chosen guides, but why was I finding so much aligned in texts meant to prove that an opposite view was out there?  I guess it just reinforces that we see what we are looking for, we see not what is there but who we are.  It is also a reminder that seeing something different takes real effort, a conscious task of putting aside bias and blind spots. That to really see we have to take a fresh look.  All the more encouragement than to seek out different points of view and really let them in.

I like to plan; I have to-do lists and goals and journals and all sorts of tools to try to make sense of my busy days.  I have long term goals and short-term strategies.  For all my planning and listing though I can never be sure what news or challenge each week is going to bring.  I can have my calendar all mapped out and find myself completely redirected after a single phone call or email that takes my day and sometimes my week in a different direction.  So, knowing how often my plans go amuck, I continue to plan and list out my tasks and try to remember all that I must follow up on.  Why is that?  I think for the most part experience has taught me that while I cannot predict fully what awaits in any given day, my plan is something to fall back on.  My list can last longer than one day and help me to refocus when the storm passes.  I can still reflect on goals as I deal with the incidentals.  I love the quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson that says – finish each day and be done with it.  While I know there is utility in planning around the incidental diversions, I also know that regret and worry that I did not get it all done or get it all right, serves no purpose at all.  I guess what I am thinking about is how we need to set a direction that we can go back to each time we get side tracked to a different path due to circumstances.  Even when the crisis makes it necessary to alter the destination, knowing where we were planning to be can inform us about where we can adjust and change those plans to reflect the new circumstance.  Emerson talks about absurdities and blunders…which I have made a few.  They are in the past and I still know that my plans will get me where I need to go tomorrow or the next day.

I had the chance this week to attend a meeting where a staff person of the municipality spoke about her work and a project that she was launching.  Her aim here was to advise the committee where I was attending about her project, which was very interesting.  What stuck with me more though was her passion and interest in the work that she was doing.  It was a magical elixir, she presented her project and talked about the work that she was doing with such joy and enthusiasm I think all of us in the room could imagine her love of her work.  How fantastic is that.  To be able to not only work hard in a chosen role, but also to absolutely love what you do and really believe in the impact that it has.  Like all people, as I get older, I really do start to realize how short life is and how meticulously important it is to spend our time whenever we can do things that make our hearts sing.  And while that cannot always be our jobs or other roles that we must attend to.  I think it is critical that we find at least one thing that we can take part in, a hobby or club or job where we really get to stretch our wings, lose track of time, get inspired and find that passion and interest.  I think one of the keys is to reflect on when the last time was that you lost track of time, when you looked up and hours had gone by, or someone had to text you to say- are you ever getting home.  What was that activity?  What was at its heart?  It should offer a pretty good indicator of what you like best to explore, do or learn about and you can build from there.  In big and small ways, it is how we spend our days, hours and minutes that does define how we spend out life.  Seek out your own magic elixir.

I pass a long-term care home on my way to the Lindsay office.  From many partner tables I understand some of the many pressures these homes are under to provide excellent care, recruit staff, balance the budget, manage vacancies and proving their worth in regular reviews.  This is an immense amount of pressure to do quality care for people.  On their sign I read in bold letters: our purpose- cultivating happiness.  It made me think about all those standards of care and pressures, I would imagine that it could be easy to think that their purpose is to get the care right or to have optimal supports and facilities.  How wonderful then to imagine that despite all the pressures and regulations, the team can see clearly that their mission is something more.  Cultivating happiness is a tall order, I am sure they mean that they need to work to make each day a little brighter, infuse fun and activity, foster connections and family involvement and honour all in their care as people first.  A great reminder for all of us as we get bogged down in all that is going on around us, when we feel the weight of pressures in our lives.  What is at the center?  What is the prime directive?  It could be- cultivating happiness.  Pressures seem to always get replaced by more problems when we focus on just trying to comply to all that we have to and get through.  However, as John Lennon says, life happens while we are making other plans.  Each of those days of worry and work add up to the days of our lives.  Our mission on all those days- cultivate happiness. Look for the big and small ways to make days lighter, find some humour, make others smile, or just notice the good and light moments and appreciate them everyday.

This is a wild winter, snow is everywhere and in huge piles.  It is a challenge to move around the communities as every driveway is heaped on both sides with snow, you have to traverse knowing at all times that you cannot see who is backing or driving out of their driveways and those drivers cannot see you.  We all have to be a little more careful, more watchful and know that we are all in the same place, a place where you cannot see over the snowbanks.  There is a generosity in travelling in this kind of condition, a sort of resigned idea that we can all get through this together with a little more attention and a lot of grace.  And maybe its not just the snow piles, there are lots of things going on that blocks our clear view of each other, the future, what is going to happen next.  How can we navigate in these blind spots?  I think the same applies.  Acknowledging that we are all in this same situation where the piles are high and rising and we can’t always see each other clearly.  Grace, by definition means that we just take a pause before deciding, offer a generous view in our assessment of the situation and that we are open to other interpretations and paths.  At any moment the snow could start to melt, and we can move freely with clearer vision, but for now, we know that we are limited to only what we can see in the narrow views between the snowbanks. Let’s journey forth together, paying close attention and taking care of each other. 

I spent a full day in a meeting in the basement of a church, after the meeting I went home, did a virtual meeting with a group in Haliburton, had some supper, went to my book club meeting, parked on the street for the meeting and later came home. Once home I had a message from a neighbour and church member saying that she was sorry she ran into my car earlier. I had not noticed, but once alerted could see that my driver door did have a scrape and dent in the center. She was so anxious in telling me and assuring me that she did not mean to leave the scene of an accident but got flustered. She was worried that my reaction would be anger. Anger? I did not feel a jot of emotion beyond relief that she had taken responsibility and mild annoyance that I would need to go through the motions of repairing my “new to me” car. But anger, nope, I had been to Lindsay parked on the street, had yet to notice the damage, if she had not owned up, I would have eventually noticed and would have paid myself to fix it. I think sometimes we get anxious applying emotions to another party and it stops us from making a call, asking a question, offering a suggestion.  And yes, people can get angry or resent feedback sometimes, but I think more often, people take those ideas about our dents and scraped places and make changes, glad to have been alerted.