I have the privilege and challenge at times, of sharing my life with someone who suffered great loss when his first wife died after a battle with cancer. There is a great deal of wisdom, perspective and insight that my partner offers me about the day-to-day challenges and heartaches and hardships that knit together make up this thing we call life. My partner has this grand metre stick by which he measures what is truly a calamity, and he grounds me in that experience when I begin to horribilize or dwell in the realm of catastrophe.
I had a setback this week when I learned that a close friend was just diagnosed with stage four cancer. He has just retired at the wonderful age of 58, I am sure planning for a long well-deserved, adventure-filled time. His hobby is running marathons, for fun I guess (I have never understood), and now he faces this diagnosis.
I railed against the reality with full on temper tantrum moves and then my husband calmly reminded me that looking for life to be fair is just not a good use of my precious present. Things are not fair; life is not a series of checks and balances. All we have is right now.
To be honest, I was not really ready to hear my husband’s wisdom. I needed to talk to my friend and his wife, to have an episode of despair under a warm blanket and to partake in some sugary carbs. After all that, I could start to come around, this is how it is. Good things happen and rotten things happen to all of us. We change what we can, live with what we cannot and fight for what we want.
What’s next? How do we collectively face this great unknown? Together, one day at a time, knowing nothing is guaranteed, taking nothing for granted and wringing every last bit of fantabulousnous out of each moment.
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