From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – Recently, amid pandemic and all things grim, I picked up the local newspaper and noticed an obituary for a 90-year-old woman. The obituary was for my first 4-H leader, Henny Kraan. Reading it I was instantly taken back to my 12-year-old self trying to figure out who I was in the world  – as most are at that age – and joining my first club with a lot of people I didn’t know. I was nervous and maybe a little shy.  And while I have no sweeping, epic, heart warming words from Henny to stitch on a pillow, what I do have is a tangible memory of how she made me feel. Her warmth, her confidence in me that I could do something and – when I succeeded – her smile; when I fell on my face – her equally supportive smile.

Henny gave me a sense that I could do anything. I remember one time that there was to be a night of presentations. The group came up with the idea, which I don’t remember, that I was to be in an old suit and top hat and performing at the microphone. This was probably my first foray into public speaking and Henny wrapped her confidence around me and let me try. Equally when the club was sewing – she looked at my offering and reminded me that…  I was good at public speaking.

Henny is a small part of what makes up my particular toolbox of talents today and I am very grateful for that.  Take some time away from all things COVID-19 this weekend and think about who shaped your current view on life – think about the role models – there will be countless ones.  So many people touch our lives and right at this moment we have a little time to remember them with gratitude.

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From the desk of Teresa Jordan – Last night I purposely breathed in starlight. I noticed when I let the dog out that the stars were particularly bright and crisp. It was very cold, so I bundled up and joined the dog for a late night ramble.

Here’s the thing about stars that I am sure many of us have experienced. At first you see hundreds. They are bright and look big and form some easy-to-spot constellations – you get captivated by the slightly glittering sparkle. But once you really settle into stargazing and simply look up all the rest slowly comes into focus. Behind the shiny hundreds, the millions of the milky way start to come into focus.

And so there, being left behind by my dog, presumably looking to relieve himself in privacy, I breathed in the starlight. I leaned back against the fence and just quietly looked up. Trying to be mindful that in this moment there was an eternal certainty and an expansive universe quietly outside of the somewhat anxious day-to-day life.

I looked until the millions of stars started to come into view and knew that some of that starshine was landing on me. I breathed it in. Wise people would say that the entire course of a life is in the present moment because it is all we truly have to live in. And just for a moment, I simply breathed in the stars.

What I am learning most in this pandemic is that there are very few experts in response, strategizing, surviving and thriving in all that this pandemic is throwing at us. No one is doing a perfect job at home schooling kids, sanitizing groceries and coming up with constant witty conversation with suddenly completely available significant others. We have seen many televised experts learn and grow and change their recommendations. We read also that the anxiety of pandemic is making us all less able to be productive and engaged. And we have all seen the videos where workers from home forget to turn off their cameras before they reveal that they are not in fact wearing pants.

So here is the thing, I think – we just need to let go of an idea of how to perfectly navigate the sea of challenges posed in pandemic times. All we can do is navigate what is right, by what we know at the time of our decision. Let go of the idea of perfection or the idea that we need to be fearless. What will happen however, is moments of heroism, moments of superpowers and moments of knowing exactly what is right for right now.

It is all a little like that night sky – pandemic looks like a hundred overwhelming challenges from health to finance to anxiety to safety. Then if take a moment, the millions of people and positives can come into view. The people who are taking care of their neighbours, the people who are creating opportunities online, the people coming to work and brightening the days of those we support, the people sending positive thoughts, trying new recipes, learning new things, sewing masks or maybe not doing any of that, but still making it through.

So I breathed the starlight in, I forced myself to lay aside the worries and my shortcomings – the unknowns and the pressures – and I just took in the stars. And I went in the house, still not a pandemic expert, not a complete superhero in all things domestic, nor even an expert on how to use my own oven, but someone ready to face another day with a little sparkle. The dog – while also having spent time in the starlight – appeared unchanged, but that is OK  too – we are all in this together.

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From the desk of Teresa Jordan – I watched to a great webinar this week that drove home for me some of the great challenges that we are experiencing. The difficulty of a pandemic – and the resulting emergency measures that take us all the way back to the great wars – is that in this time of trouble we are being asked to distance. We are being asked to not stand side-by-side, to not band together, to not gather to pray … and to not come together to gather the courage collectively to soldier on.

I was reminded again how significant it is that we are living in these times. And while many say this will forever change the landscape what I know for sure is that it will forever change us – those who are living it. We can rise to the challenge and not faint, we can gather strength together while apart. I have seen countless examples of care and concern, and I know that there will come a day that we do gather and celebrate all that we survived during this time.

In my isolation at home I have been, every day, going on long walks through the woodsy swamp land in which I live. I am amazed in the quiet reflection of these walks, of how I am noticing changes each day. The snow and ice melt a little more, the water in the river rises and falls, the swamp grass is starting to green and the red wing black birds are quite obnoxious when they all decide that I am the intruder.

What I notice for sure, given that I am prone to this kind of observation, is that what I am noting is all that would be happening in any spring in the swamp. The beavers and birds did not get any memos about the pandemic, and they are simply going about the business of living and getting ready for the warmer seasons. The ebb and flow of nature is still keeping up its usual pace.

So what is all of this to us? A calmness, a focal point beyond the noise and perhaps a reminder that while we are in the middle of global crisis and there is much to attend to, there is also the rhythm of the seasons to reassure us that while so much has changed so fast, there is beauty all around just the same.

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From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – Who knew that amidst a global pandemic I would learn how to make homemade play-doh or be able to access a zillion free online books, concerts and music? Who knew that I would see people band together, be creative and sing on rooftops? And yet, perhaps deep down we have always known that as a species we survived for millions of years by depending upon one another, hunting and gathering as a group.

Now we are faced with that same level of survival dependent on each other and we rise.  We rise when we distance, we rise when we reach out in big and small ways to connect, we rise when we get creative and make joy happen.  I see people who are making the most of it – connecting on Facebook, holding street parades and making sure there is no one left behind in true isolation.

Another learning I have had lately is that clearly, I am just like Olaf from Frozen – only with more complicated emotions and wardrobe – I like warm hugs. I like celebrating with a high five, a hug or at the very least my well-practiced firm executive handshake. We cannot touch but must stay in touch.

I am proud of the actions taken by our levels of government, I am proud of how seriously most Canadians are taking the crisis and I am proud that in the distance, as a community, we have grown closer. I will remember most from this time of social distancing that I found out how socially connected and interwoven we all truly are in this thing called life.

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From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – These are unprecedented times – scary, anxiety-provoking and overwhelming, with the added challenge of toilet paper thrown in to keep us off balance. The interesting part of what is happening is that it is worldwide, that as a global community we are facing a threat and mobilizing in each country to try to minimize a curve of contracted cases. There are lay-offs, closures, plunging finances, unknown futures.

Where do we look for hope? Where do we find the sunshine that moves the shadow to our backs?

The hope is where it can so often be found – in each other. It is in the cashier at the store who greets us warmly with a smile after being asked for the 500th time when the next shipment of toilet paper will be in; it’s the neighbours and friends who phone to make sure that we have what we need; it’s the Facebook posts of hope and caring. I’ve seen many videos of the isolated residents of Italy singing from their balconies together – singing in hope with each other in a country that is not flattening the curve at all.

Our best selves are to be found when we look to make the lives of others better. These are scary and overwhelming times, we have to face each day the threat of a virus that has turned the world upside down. What can you do on this day to make one moment of hope or light, or of less fear? What are we in control of?

I am reading a book right now by Drew Dudley that talks about making each day you are a leader like your first day. In it he speaks about the impact that we have each and every day to help someone reach a goal, become a better person and create remarkable stories. He discusses a moment that made an impact on someone by offering a lollipop – his lollipop moment has gone on to be the hallmark of his TED talk, but in summary he made an impact by offering a lollipop that ended up changing the trajectory of someone’s life. And while he was thanked years later by the recipient of this huge life-changing gesture, he has no recollection of it.

This is the kind of impact we can have in these troubled times – seek out the opportunity to lift someone else out of fear for a moment, look a for a chance to make someone smile. There will come a time when this great challenge is one of our often told hero stories in our elder years. Recognizing each other as the heroes of this opera, looking at the people that surround us and know that they are equally scared and anxious but also being creative and kind and present.

Look for the moments of sunshine and call them out, grab onto them and celebrate each other. I have a bunch of sisters-in-law (six brothers), and one is very shy and quiet but with a wicked sense of humour. Fearing layoff she joked that she may have to return to stripping. This is a hilarious statement if you know her quiet withdrawn personality in and of itself. She followed it up by saying that she is even working on her routine – she calls it, “You can leave your mask on”- a moment of sunshine in the rain.

Why is social distancing so hard? It’s hard because we are hard-wired for community, for leaning on each other, for wandering the desserts and forests in tribes to survive the wrath of the sabre-tooth tiger; we are built to social connection. Lets keep the connection in the distance, keep the sunshine in front of us and command the fear to fall behind. We are quite literally all in this together.

From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – I attended a meeting this week on the second floor of an office building in Peterborough. Now, while I was paying full attention at that meeting, I was also looking out the window.  On a building across the street I could see the roof and, on it, a humongous owl decoy.

As a continued to scan around – while paying full attention to the meeting, of course – I noticed that other roofs had birds on them, but the one with the “owl” did not. I was impressed that this very simple gesture actually worked and proved an easy deterrent for unwanted birds nesting and pooping on buildings.

I focused my attention back to the meeting for a while, and then turned my gaze back out the window several minutes later. This time I noticed that same owl decoy, only this time there was a bird perched on its head. I am no ornithologist; however, I am pretty sure that a real owl would not allow that kind of thing.

So, what did I learn outside of the gripping content of the meeting at hand? Sometimes the greatest schemes, plans, intentions, designs and solutions simply do not work out.  Sometimes all seems well and the birds are staying completely out of your business, and sometimes those same problems are perched directly on your head.

What are we to do?  I guess just rework the plan, try another angle, wash the poop out of our hair and work on a better solution.  I think the other reminder here is that when we think we have the best possible solution, make sure we check back in twenty minutes or so because everything could be completely different.

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From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – Have you ever been asked to participate in an activity to which there is no right answer? For instance, at a very high level training event I had to participate on a scenario involving espionage, murder, adultery and cheating. The group was asked to rank the person for their level of virtue amid all of the wickedness.

The members of my little group poured over the task, as did all the others, only to find out in the end that the task had no answer key, no correct ranking. The exercise was just about getting us together and talking about weighty subjects so that we could learn about how we all think.

This week I had a similar experience about using the most obscure clues on the planet to try to determine who lived where and smoked what with what kind of pet. I sort of guessed that the exercise was more about thinking patterns and so I watched; as it turns out there was much to see.

Some people threw up their hands and said this is stupid, some dug right in with coloured pens and furrowed brow to crack the case, some worked very independently, others worked closely with their team, some asked for constant clues and some still haven’t stopped trying to work out the riddle.  And the answer was … not one of those approaches was correct and none were wrong and in this scenario nobody got the right answer.

We just all tackle things differently; some use colours, some do not even write it out, some rail against injustice, others get right to work trying to solve, some are quiet, some loud, some joke, some fume and we all try.

I guess the point of this “fun” team activity – though in my opinion was a little short on fun – was to provide another platform for us as a team to learn that there is no one superior way to tackle troubles and challenges, they are all right. And if we can just let of our egos and our own well-worn habits and tendencies, leaning on the way others plan the attack will, in the end, lead to a much more robust outcome.  If everyone saw things the same way and faced challenges identically there would very few actual solutions being reached – our unique strengths get better when complemented by the unique strengths of others no matter where they live and with which pet!

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From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – I continue to spend time writing my memoirs with the book I received for my birthday – The book of me. This week it asked me if I had ever been betrayed. It then went on to ask who had stuck up for me in a tough spot. Such interesting questions that have me thinking about both school yard bullies and former romantic partners in the same sitting. Working on this project is a real exercise in reminding me of the long past or, in the case of the above, framing the past in a way that makes me look at it differently.

So, I challenge you to think about who has stuck up for you in the past, whether in big and small ways. The person who says to a negative comment, “No Teresa would not say that,” or who talks about all that we have been a part of together as proof of character when someone else digs up long past grievances as evidence that character is lacking.

Who were your defenders when you were stared down by the school yard bully? Are they still in your life? Here’s an idea, maybe send them a note. Dear Jeff Walker, thanks for telling Mike Goodhand to leave me alone. Dear Gennifer Chipps thanks for being my friend when others had decided I was a 13 year old social pyorrhea. Dear CLTH staff, thanks for supporting my good and not so good ideas with enthusiasm and interest.

Where would we be if we did not have a tribe or at least a few folks to back us up, give us a little encouragement and offer us kindness when others are being cruel. Let’s not only reflect, but commit, to keep on sticking up for those who need it.

From the desk of Teresa Jordan – I had a great lunch this week in Burks Falls at a little café … well, actually, the only café. Just me and my son were having a great lunch on vacation in the Near North.

I was relaxed and having fun and taking in what was happening around me. It was amazing – community members were sitting together talking, well gossiping really.  There were three senior gentlemen at one table harassing the waitress playfully about the size of the salad, that the one man had wanted a small one. She playfully responded that salad only comes in one size. All of this was done with the steady use of first names. At other tables more customers were dining, clearly regulars as their names were used as well.

And then the magic happened … the waitress and a few patrons commented, “Where is Ruby today?” Right there was community, there was belonging, there was the natural magic we sometimes work so hard for… So much friendship, so much connection and Ruby was missed. Not only a regular, or someone that frequents on a community outing or someone who has goal of more connection. Here she has a valued role, a place to belong and everyone notices when she is not there.  This is the stuff of magic. I wonder if anyone knew that I was away? I hope so.

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From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – The power of a cupcake is extreme delight on a cold, wintry day.

This week I had a setback and I was feeling quite overwhelmed. Then I entered the hallway and was offered a cupcake – and not just any cupcake, but a cupcake that said Happy Valentines Day … with sprinkles.

There were absolutely no strings attached to this sweet gift. I did not have to visit, prove that I could eat it without covering myself with crumbs or offer a counter-gift of some kind. Nope, just a pass by in the hall, a smile, a tray and – boom – I got a cupcake.

Instantly I was shaken from my moment of frustration, not just for the sugary goodness, but the smile, the generosity – and the sprinkles – a moment to bring me back to what is really important, the other human beings that I am walking around with, the generosity of others, the small delights in a day and the holidays that are scattered throughout the year for all of us to enjoy.

I know that this person was giving out cupcakes en mass so perhaps was not aware of the service it rendered in bringing me back to the light. But isn’t that the way it is with all true sprinkled positive interactions – we are mostly unaware of any struggle or hardship another is really facing, so all we can really do is keep handing out the cupcakes, without trying to figure out who needs one or where the biggest impact will be made.

We are all in this together and while I know I loved my cupcake moment, it reminded me to never miss a moment to offer small sprinkled kindnesses of my own – Valentine’s day or not.

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