From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – Our recent Annual General Meeting (AGM) was a barn burner. I am so grateful that so many people stopped by to celebrate our first year. I know we will build on the successes of this year, and next year will be even bigger.

The day after the AGM, Community Living Trent Highlands hosted a training session and afterwards, there were sandwiches left over. A staff member took them to the nearest neighbour connected with our agency so that he could enjoy some free food. He had attended the AGM thought, and so his “not so thrilled” comment was, “Great, sandwiches again.”

I hold sandwiches in high esteem. I think we have learned over and over again that a sandwich and a drink are the ultimate ice breakers, the levelers, the conversation starters, the common link when we want to have a conversation, to learn about each other, to just spend time together. Community centres, churches and all gathering spaces in between understand that between two pieces of bread lies a story, a visit, a connection.

At the training, the comment was made that not taking time to develop a relationship is
like not changing the oil. Sure, you can work, support and engage with someone for a
time without really knowing that person, but it can’t evolve further than that once the engine blows up. I may have messed up that metaphor, but you get what I am saying. Stop, spend time, listen, break bread, have a conversation, develop a relationship and save a colossal engine failure later on. Let’s get excited when we hear “sandwiches again” ~ here comes another opportunity get to know someone.

Thanks for all that you do and for the all of the sandwiches you share.

From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – The past Saturday, I had the privilege of thanking the supporters at the Trish’s Wish 12 km Walk-a-thon. This walk began as a one-time thing to support Trish, a high school student, with expenses in her battle with cancer. Trish did not survive but it was her wish to have the walk continued to help others. Now the Foundation of Trish’s Wish raises tens of thousands of dollars each year through several fund raisers, and supports youth in Kawartha Lakes who have medical expenses.

Being at the walk-a-thon with the community volunteers and walkers reminded me of the power of community. It’s not the dignitaries or the agencies – it’s people connected around a cause, connected by the wonderful bright light of an all too short life, connected by the drive to give back, to spread joy and help. This community power exists all over the place, but for this Saturday morning, in a sea of pink (Trish’s favourite colour) it was visible, tangible, and almost electric.

Trish’s Wish has helped many our families who experience barriers to lead a full life. As I said to the crowd, “The Foundation only asks if a young person is being held back from their destiny due to an illness or disability and then gives money to ensure a quality life.”

Here’s to Trish’s legacy, one of passing on the power of the human spirit to help others reach their unique destiny. Here’s to that human race. At the end of the day we are, after all, walking together to bring out the best in each other and our community every day. Here’s to all of you looking out for the magic of community all around – much thanks.

Want to have an argument? Probably you don’t – very few people do – but arguments are the stuff of life as we all try to get on with our day-to-day and all of the tasks and decisions that entails. What I have learned in the last week through training is that not everyone sees the world exactly as I do. I know most of you are thinking, “That is clear, what’s the big deal?” For me, though, the training was a deep dive not only into communication styles, of which there are many (and many people in the room shared a similar style) but also of motivations. Everyone’s motivators were very different, and the training made it very clear to me that we are all very different and consider diverse things as very important.

Arguments are, then, easily explained. Two people or two groups have a different opinion, are motivated by different things that affect their desired outcome and then, sprinkled on top, are different ways of communicating. This creates perfect storm, unless we can pause, take a moment to consider the stormy factors and think a moment on what it might really be like on the other side – what is really different, what could compromise look like, is consensus more important than ‘winning?’ And, finally, are my motivators getting in the way of really seeing the core of the issue, and can I flex to communicate in a way that is more compatible with how the other person communicates?

This is all a lot to think about when you are very mad or very passionate, but how significantly could it change our day-to-day interactions? I think it is worth a try. After all, if everyone thought exactly the same way, this would be one boring existence of mundane, “hi how are you?” Calm waters all the time never made a skilled sailor savvy in navigating the storms.

Thanks for all you do in storm and calm.

From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – When I was nineteen, I stopped to get gas and managed to scrape the side of the van on the post that stands beside the pump – I guess sort of guarding it from potential damage, like what I would have done if it hadn’t been there. I heard the scraping and my heart sank as I knew that the van I was driving was only about two months old. The gas attendant (we used to have those) was a high school friend who tactfully said, “Whoa, Teresa, I thought you could drive?”

Let’s put this in better perspective – this was an eleven passenger van to accommodate the ten people in my family at that time. This was my parents’ new van and I had just scratched the entire side! I remember stopping by the river on the way home and trying to dab off some of the yellow paint to make it look better.

Then it was time to enter the driveway. I had to face my dad, and he was really, really mad! I knew because his face was a weird shade of purple. I cried and apologized, and I explained that the extra length was hard to turn around the pumps. I was beside myself.

My dad said very little – just agreed that it was an accident. His new van, his family mover, one of only four new vehicles that he owned in his lifetime, was totally messed up – but he knew it was not intended, he knew that I was remorseful and he left it at that. But, you know what else he did? He never got it fixed. I had to face those scratches, over and over, for like 10 years.

One year ago today, my dad died and I think of this – and a million other stories about him – and I miss him. We all know people, know pain, know joy, know challenge and triumph. I guess, like my dad decided to do, we should let the scratches show and remember the messed up bits along with the great stuff. It’s all part of life, after all, covered in paint and stretched out… And underneath the scratches we are really still there, those scratches making us who we are today.

Thanks for all you do, each day, scratchy and smooth.

From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – I truly had one of Oprah’s “Aha moments” this past week. I love daffodils and on my drives from home to offices and in between there are countless gardens in full bloom – great wondrous clumps of yellow glory. So, for a few days, I would think about all of the small fortunes I have spent in my adult life trying to grow daffodils in my own gardens.

I remember distinctly when I was first married that I spent some of my precious little disposable income on a case of 50 daffodil bulbs, which I planted in the fall with great hope and watched patiently in the spring to see not even one come up! My neighbour thought maybe the squirrels ate them. I’m not sure what happened, but I know for sure that I am the common denominator because that was over twenty years ago and I have not yet successfully planted daffodils that bloomed in the spring.

So, I started to lay some plans as I saw these wonderful flowers last week in other people’s gardens – to try again, to remember to buy bulbs and to maybe research what I am doing wrong so that I can finally have the narcissistically fantastic display like all of these other homes on my route.

Then it happened – my “Aha.” I have been enjoying these displays of daffodils for days, as I see them regularly on my drives, but I have not actually spent time in my own yard to any great degree for three weeks. I do not need to own the beauty to enjoy it. I do not need to coral pretty flowers into my own yard, I do not need the grass to be greener in the space I call mine; I can just enjoy what is already all around me. I am already enjoying the flower beds on my drives and I am clearly quite deficient in growing ability. Maybe this applies to all kinds of things, but for sure I am resolute to enjoy beauty wherever I find it.

Photo by Travis Saylor on Pexels.com

Spring is here and maybe some would argue this, but it feels like summer. The trees are budding, the plants are popping and the birds are singing. Inside many houses grow tiny little plants that people started with the dream of planting outside.

My dad only got into this idea of starting seeds in the last few years with a grow lamp and his little green house. When I thought of any seeds I had tried to start indoors, I pictured the spindly little seedlings craning and reaching for light in my window sills and knowing that the minute I planted them outside a little breeze would probably snap them off.

Dad figured out, however, that the key is a grow lamp, down as close as can be tolerated so that the plants need not grow quickly and thinly to reach up for the nourishing light. With the light so close at hand they develop strong, resilient stocks and lush leaves right from the start. The trick here, though, is diligence – you must keep raising the lamp so that the hard stocky stems have room to grow, room to reach, space to become the potential that is hidden in their seed.

I recently read a great article about mentoring and sponsoring others. I am pretty sure that they just did not think of the metaphor here, but it is a perfect one. We need help close at hand until we don’t need that help any longer, but then we, again and again, need a new challenge or goal to reach for – that is life and that is gardening.
Thanks for all you do in spring and all the year through!

From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – I heard a great story this week about how much fun a Charlie Pride concert was at Casino Rama, and I was instantly reminded of an epic battle that I had with my son. He was about five at the time and he fell in love with a Charlie Pride CD of greatest hits. It was his number one choice for the car … which, at the time, made for a refreshing change from the Barbie Twelve Dancing Princesses soundtrack that was my daughter’s favourite. There is a song that Charlie sings with the chorus, “shutters and boards cover the window of the house where we used to live.” It is the classic country sad song about an epic breakup. So, my five year old belted out: “shutters and bolts cover the windows…”  I corrected him, but then he explained why what he was hearing was right: “without bolts, how would the shutters stay on?” Who can argue with that?

This tale reminds me that there are certainly things in our day to day that we must correct or clarify, but then there are also bolts instead of boards that do not materially affect the outcome or safety of everyone in the car – so we can just let them be. I totally backed down from the argument. Now, twelve years later, I am pretty sure he would sing it the same way if he wasn’t too cool for Charlie Pride. We all see things just a bit differently and, most of the time, there is room for all of our different lyrics. After all, something has to keep the shutters on, right?

For all you do and the absolute creativity you bring each day, I thank you!

From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – Last week I had the privilege of hearing Cormac Russell speak and, if you are unsure of who that is, please Google him and listen to one his talks about community and its strengths.

Cormac’s ideas about building on what is strong in a community reflect and expand upon the visions of many others. So rather than deciding that there is too little green space, not enough youth activities, no police presence or no convenience store open past 8 pm., he suggests that we completely change the conversation to noticing what a community does have – the church has a drum circle that is well attended, there is a small group that gathers to roller blade on Wednesdays nights, and Mr. Jones has an impromptu community garden on his front lawn. Cormac would say that spending time noticing what is already happening – and identifying the natural connectors who already exist in a community – is of paramount importance.

What does that mean for us? Community is a living, breathing thing that we are committed to promoting inclusion with and in. Cormac says that natural connectors often know over 80 people in their community, and can reach out to others to connect people of similar interests, passions or views. He says that when these people are gathered, they are often surprised and embarrassed to be called out as connectors … but a room full of 100 connectors, with all of their connections, could represent about 8,000 people in the community.

Let’s take some time to just notice the natural connectors, the active community members who – largely unsung – are putting people and ideas together all around us. They have so much to teach us. And to the connectors – thank you for all of the connections and ideas that you offer each day.

From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – I learned how to put on make-up on the GO train about five years ago. Okay, that is not exactly true, but to be clear, my mom did not really wear make-up and mascara seemed straight forward to me – you move the brush in an upward motion along the lashes and try not to poke your eye out and you end up with a luscious dark lash of alluring texture.

Taking the GO train on a Saturday morning, I could not help but notice a young woman a few seats away who was applying mascara. In this case, ‘applying’ was a very different verb from the one that I had been enlisting all the years prior. She repeatedly applied the wand to the lash and then back in the tube and then back to the same lash – from the Ajax station to Eglinton. Repeatedly, she carefully built a layer of luscious allure like I have never even imagined possible. I was in awe at her dedication and not once did she tear up due to jabbing her eyeball or have to wipe away errant makeup from her cheek.

This was an epiphany! You can use the wand more than once to build up layers! My
mind was blown and I changed my habit the next day. And while the world failed to notice, I know that my luscious lashes have plumped up to a most dramatically alluring fashion since.

Learning is not something that you book time for from 9-11 on Thursdays or something that you are somehow finished with at a certain stage of the game. Be on the lookout – strangers, friends, coworkers and yes, even fellow travellers on the train – have a little bit of knowledge that could be important to making a new discovery about yourself, a new insight into the world or a completely revamped and invigorated beauty routine. So much is all around, just waiting to be noticed, taken in or considered.

For all you do, before, in and beyond an ice storm, I offer my thanks!

From the desk of Teresa Jordan, Executive Director – I went to an Annual General Meeting recently for a partner agency. Just like all of us when planning and executing these kinds of meetings, there were hiccups – not enough financial statements, no one clearly taking attendance of membership, and an unclear start time for the meeting. I was not bothered by any of these hiccups because I have yet to execute a perfect AGM and I know that there are a lot of moving pieces.

Behind me, however, there was a group of people that was bothered. Reading through the material, they pointed out everything they disagreed with; looking at the agenda, I heard them say, “Wrong order, wrong motion, just wrong and wrong.” It seems that nothing can fire up a small group like negativity.

I thought about the two very different reactions that we were having to the  same situation. For a lot of reasons I was completely content, and almost relieved, to know that everyone struggles with these big meetings … but right behind me there was a negative, almost angry vibe happening. Even though the reaction of the group had absolutely nothing to do with me and was no reflection of my work, their negativity brought me down. It washed over me and made me upset for no real reason.

This experience reminded me about a great concept called “emotional wake.” In our work with people facing big challenges, it is important that our wake does not wash over a person and make their challenges bigger but that it instead fills the space with something lighter and brighter – something like hope and understanding. A little  understanding and support from the group behind me would have lifted the whole room.  Cake could have helped, too.  🙂

For all that you do – and for all of the positive vibes that you sprinkle around – I thank you.